Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger...

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger

And I'm done hoping that we can work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking, that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger

Getting along without you, baby
I'm better off without you, baby
How does it feel without me, baby?
I'm getting stronger without you, baby

And I'm done hoping we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

I get a little bit stronger
Just a little bit stronger
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger




I don't know why I keep reliving those memories, I've moved on..I don't care anymore......but it still hurts to know what I had to go through in order to come to terms that "I have moved on". I torture myself by looking at things that remind me of those times, what at the time were good times. I won't say that I want to forget those memories, because in order to keep myself sane and happy I have to think of the good times that make me smile, and those times sure as hell made me the happiest person alive. Yes, it wasn't for a long time, but I don't think I have ever had those feelings for another person. He made me happy, he made me laugh, smile and he actually cared how I was feeling at the time, he respected me (or I thought he did). I think what sucks the most is that I had gotten so close to his family and they will always have a special place in my heart forever. I still get asked "When are you coming to see us?! You haven't been over here in forever! We miss you!" Now, that sucks...big time. I wish it were that easy to just show up out of the blue to come see some of the most amazing people around, but who knows, I know they will appreciate it, I would LOVE to go see them, but it hurts to go back. Soo I'm sitting here wondering to myself, "why does it hurt so much?" well like I said, I've never had those feelings for another person in my life, at least I don't think so. All the times we spent together was amazing and I loved how I felt at the time, I was a giggly girl who thought everything was brighter, the air smelled better and nothing could ever go wrong. Now that I have nothing, it went back to being, oh my god, no one will ever like me like that again, why does everything suck, why does it feel like everything and everyone are against me? At the time I had the comfort of someone...you know, thinking about it. It's not the person that I miss, it's how I felt. Yes, what I miss is how I felt at the time. I miss being hugged and kissed whenever I wanted to, I miss being held, having a chest to lay on, I miss having a hand to hold. Fuck that person, I could actually care less about him...I do miss his family and actually that's about it, haha. It's nice to know that I've come to terms with all of this. I love having that comfort of finally figuring out what's been bothering me all of this time. 
It's nice to finally have that peace of mind :)